A large part of God's work on earth focuses on marriages. He designed them, sustains them and works in them to change us into loving people while bringing Himself glory. Ephesians 5:22-33 is a well known passage showing us God's way in this intense relationship.
Too often I have heard the verses directed to the wives taught in an apologetic tone. There is traditionally a sigh or a disclaimer prior to launching into the passage. The phrase goes something like, "sorry about this, but." However, this should not be so. Look at what wives get to do! Why can we be so strong in this? All of God's commands are a call for people to enter into blessing. Wives are to submit to their own husbands as to the Lord. To submit means to "find your place in rank". It is not a word of inferiority but of order. Wives get to submit to their own husbands. Why is this desirable? It is because wives get to identify with Christ's submission to His Father's will in a special way. Wives are being called to enter into the Person of Christ through ongoing submission to their own husbands. This command is a call to experience Christ more. Why should I ever apologize for this?
God commands the husband to love his wife, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her. This command deserves comment. The "love" mentioned here is agape - the kind of love that shows forth goodness to another without any consideration to being loved in return. Husbands are to do this to the same extent as Christ loved the Church - "and gave Himself for her". This added phrase describes the nature of the love - it is a giving Himself. Notice that it is NOT a giving UP of Himself. This would mean that Christ relinquished all energy and drive to be dominated by the will of another - the Church. That would put the Church in authority over Him. Sadly, some churches act this way. On the contrary, all of Christ's energy and drive is retained but now directed to the betterment and blessing of the Church. He gave Himself in order to love, lead, sanctify, bless, nourish and enliven the Church. He did not become a surrendered blob but marshaled his energies to bless the church. This is the tone of the husband's love for his wife. And so, he too, is called to enter into the Person of Christ through the giving of himself for her.
God is calling all husbands and wives to be more like the Beautiful and Bountiful Person of Christ.
